Prosperous Relationships – How to Find Long-Term Security in Partnership

Some might argue that anyone NOT in a  long-term committed relationship isn’t in any position to give relationship advice.  Screw them! (Just kidding!) 

The fact is that we are ALL in a long-term committed relationship with OURSELVES, and this needs to be the starting point or foundation for a relationship with anyone else.

I chat with folks online all over the world, and the predominant theme that I hear from both men and women is that it is HARD to find someone!  When I then ask what they are looking for in a mate, they usually say something like “someone that will love me with all of his/her heart, forever”.  Phew!  That’s a pretty tall order, and if that is what you seek, you are setting yourself up for failure!

Why? Because NO ONE can promise that – it’s impossible, because no one knows what the future will bring.  Your partner can find someone else, get sick or die, or just change their mind!  A partner CANNOT and NEVER WILL provide you with any type of security.  Most marriage vows promise that- and most marriage vows create an inherent conflict that we all know of – intuitively.  Anyone who thinks that an “I’ll love you forever promise” is possible, doesn’t understand human nature or their relationship with their higher self.  And that misunderstanding is why you don’t have the ideal partner in your life.

The best that we can ask of anyone is that they are committed to being happy themselves, no matter what outer circumstances bring, and that they don’t look to their partner (you) to make them happy.  If you can find a person that is INTERNALLY happy, even without a mate, and that person refuses to let anyone else (including you as their partner) move them from that place of knowing (their own true joy), then they are a GREAT person to be in a long-term relationship with.

The less a person is dependent on their partner to be happy, the easier it is (and the more fun it is) to be with that person.  And when you get that, you relax, and relaxing in a relationship, the chances are great that it will last long-term.  And as Abraham (of Abraham-Hicks fame) says – the best you can ask for in the form of an “agreement” with your partner is something along the lines of “I like you pretty good, let’s see how it goes”.  If you can be OK with that type of agreement, then smile, you are on the LEADING EDGE!

And women, here’s a note about men that you should take to heart: anything that you do to try to lock in “security” from your mate, will push your man away FAST.  Because (as a general rule) men seek freedom above all else!  And there is a direct conflict when a man (who is not aware of the guidance from his higher self), and woman (who is not aligned with the guidance of her higher self), come together.

She wants security, he wants freedom, and the harder one reaches for their goal, the more insecure (or trapped) the other person feels. A man reaches for freedom, and she then feels insecure.  She reaches for security, and he feels trapped.  That’s the way it is!  But once women stop looking to men to feel secure, and once men stop looking to women to support their need for freedom, and both realize that it is their relationship with their HIGHER SELVES that provides what they are seeking ,then they get aligned with their highest good, and an ideal partner comes into their experience (if that is what is wanted).

Just because I understand this topic intellectually, doesn’t mean that I have mastered this topic, but I am getting better and better at it!  Though I am single, I am happy being single and I am in no rush to find Ms. Perfect – I am content to work on the relationship between me and ME, and trust that Law of Attraction will bring the right people into my experience, without any effort or striving on my part.

I hope that is helpful, and I would LOVE to get your feedback on this topic!  Please post a comment or a question and I will respond to it!  And please share this via your favorite social network!  Click the “chicklet” buttons below to share it.

With Aloha,

- Ryan

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